By Leslie Goldman; originally posted on Health Breaks Loose

So, I am now 35 years. Halfway to 70, as my (only slightly) younger brother so kindly called to remind me. May 1st has come and gone with nary a Great Dane to show for it (*pout*), but my husbanddid make a slew of other wishes come true, including my dream of having a sandwich named after me: I went into Starbucks and saw a big sign advertising their Java of the Day: “Lolly’s Birthday Blend – sweet and spicy, bold intensity, nutty finish, the brew favored by Britney Spears and 92% of Bravo reality stars.” (The eponymousfun didn’t stop there; my favorite bakery and salad shop were also featuring Leslie specials, including a whoopee pie with twice the frosting!)
Another stellar way to celebrate my big day? Watching my BlackBerry blow up with Facebook message after Facebook message – scores of happy wishes from close friends, blog fans, college flames, former bosses, my high school locker neighbor and more. Page after page of birthday wishes streamed through all day long, plastering a perma-grim on my punim. Even better: Not a single one said, “You have a lumpy, disgusting butt.”
Shocking, right? But in fact, the only person who ever says things like that to me is…yours truly. I know, I know, I’m a body image blogger and I talk a good game about loving yourself unconditionally. But I’m not superhuman, and horrid, self-defeating thoughts still creep in from time to time. But yesterday, as I scrolled through all the lovely, heartfelt messages, I thought to myself, “THIS is how I should treat myself. I need to see myself as other see me.”
Like this one from Jamie Len, a new friend I made after interviewing her for an espnW.com story: “HAPPY BDAY LG!!!! You are one of the most wonderful, entertaining, and inspirational woman I have ever known…and am honored to call u a friend!” Please note, she did not mention anything about what number pops up when I step on the scale, or the jar of peanut butter I pounded through last week.
Or this one from Annie, a treasured magazine editor: “Happy Birthday to a wonderful person:) ” Annie respects me for my writing skills, not my ability to squeeze into a Size 6.
Charlotte, a faraway blogger friend, wished me “a year full of Brazilians, hamburger bras and lunches with Morty. Not in that order.” Inside jokes, all – and proof that she pays attention, that she knows me, that she values what I have to say…even if it is something seemingly senseless about undergarments constructed with ground meat. And not one judgy mention of the chocolate cake with multiple frosting layers I took down last night.
My bestie, Amanda, wrote, “Love you, Lolly! This will be your best, most-blessed year! Xoxoxoxoxoxo, etc…..♥, Mandy.” Amanda knows some of the struggles I’ve endured in the past year, and her prediction for a blessing-filled year shows me she believes in me, that she wants what’s best for me – not that she cares about whether I have a six-pack.
And, as with many things in life, it was the words of a sage therapist who put everything in perspective. My friend Mary Jo typed “Leslie Goldman Alter, its your birthday!! Don’t forget to enjoy every single second and then go after a fabulous year.”
My birthday wish for all of you: A fabulous year filled with constructive, positive, healthy thoughts. Let’s give ourselves the gift of compassion, of kindness, of seeing ourselves through the eyes of those who love us for who we are, not what we look like.

Starbucks’ special Java of the Day

Sweet Mandy B’s special Whoopie Pie of the Day
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